One-Liner Jokes

• How do you know if a vampire is unwell

Because he'll be coffin.


• Where do pirates get their hooks

Second hand shops.


• Why did the bicycle collapse

It was too tired.


• What kind of music do bubbles hate

Pop.


• Why did the hairdresser win the race

He knew a shortcut.


• How did the picture end up in prison

It was framed.


• What do solicitors wear to work

Lawsuits.


• Why did the bullet lose its job

It got fired.


• Why can’t a toe be 12 inches long

Then it’d be a foot.


• Want to hear a joke about a roof

The first one’s on the house.


• What does a house wear

Address!


• What did one wall say to the other

"I'll meet you at the corner."


• Why is grass so dangerous

It’s full of blades.


• What’s orange and sounds like a carrot

A parrot.


• Why do French people eat snails

They don’t like fast food.


• Where do hamburgers and hot dogs go dancing

A meatball.


• How do trees get online

They just log on!


• How do billboards talk

Sign language.


• What’s America’s favorite soda

Mini soda.


• Why shouldn’t you trust atoms

Because they make up everything.


• How was Rome split in two

With a pair of Caesars.


• Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon

She’ll let it go.


• What kind of music do planets like

Neptunes.


• What did one hat say to the other

You stay here. I’ll go on ahead.


• Why is Peter Pan always flying

He neverlands.


• How do you follow a book

You track their footnotes.


• What tree can fit in your hand

A palm tree.


• Why are astronauts so clean

They take meteor showers.


• Why are ghosts bad liars

They’re totally see-through.


• How do poets say hello

Haven’t we metaphor?


• RIP to boiling water... You will be mist.
• How does the ocean say hi

It waves.


• How did the art competition end

In a draw.