Why did the choir call a locksmith?
They couldn’t find the right key.
JokeQ original
A little more wordplay
Clever Jokes
Smart puns, playful misdirection, and longer laughs for curious minds.
48 hand-picked jokes
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When is a door not a door?
When it’s ajar.
What do toilets do when they’re embarrassed?
They get a little flush.
How do you organize a space-themed party?
You planet.
Why do pancakes always win at baseball?
They have the best batter.
Why was the robot exhausted when it got home?
It had a hard drive.
What do runners eat before a race?
Nothing. They fast.
How does an astronaut soothe a baby?
They give it a little space.
Why did the camera change its mind?
It saw things from another angle.
Why shouldn’t you use a broken pencil?
It’s pointless.
Why couldn’t the sailor learn the alphabet?
He kept getting lost at C.
Why was Cinderella bad at soccer?
She kept running away from the ball.
What did the dentist win?
A little plaque.
What do you call a skeleton with nothing below its neck?
Nobody.
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
One is heavy; the other is a little lighter.
Why do ghosts take the elevator?
It lifts their spirits.
What do you call a patronizing bear?
A pan-duh.
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
It was outstanding in its field.
Why didn’t the skeleton go on dates?
It didn’t have the guts to ask.
Want to hear a construction joke?
Sorry, I’m still working on it.
Why doesn’t Dracula have many friends?
He’s a pain in the neck.
What do you call a quiet musician?
A low-key player.
What do you call a retired vegetable?
A has-bean.
Can February march?
No, but April may.
Why shouldn’t you marry a calendar?
Its days are numbered.
What do you call a detective who solves a case by accident?
Sheer Luck Holmes.
What should you do when you’re cold?
Stand in a corner. It’s 90 degrees.
What does a clock do when it’s hungry?
It goes back four seconds.
Why did Shakespeare avoid pencils?
They made him wonder, “2B or not 2B?”
What did one eye say to the other?
“Between us, something smells.”
What did the inbox say after vacation?
“I have a lot to address.”
Why should you never trust stairs?
They’re always up to something.
What’s the spookiest kind of author?
A ghostwriter.
What did the comedian say to the echo?
“Stop stealing my material.”
Why do we tell actors to break a leg?
Every play has a cast.
What’s an astronaut’s favorite keyboard key?
The space bar.
Did you hear about the calendar thieves?
They each got six months.
Why is it hard to eat near basketball players?
They dribble.
Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floor?
He was going through a stage.
How did the group ski trip go?
Downhill fast.
Why did you get rid of the vacuum?
It was only collecting dust.
This is my step-ladder.
I never knew my real ladder.
I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet.
I don’t know Y.
I was going to take a bath.
Then I decided to leave it where it was.
A bossy person walked into a bar.
And ordered everyone a round.
Why did the software bug decline the update?
It was comfortable in its current patch.
JokeQ original
My password started writing a memoir.
It had a complicated character history.
JokeQ original
Why did the spreadsheet bring a map?
It kept getting lost between the cells.
JokeQ original