An original JokeQ series
Official-sounding notices for unofficially ridiculous problems. Each miniature scene starts with an everyday rule and lets the bureaucracy wander somewhere it shouldn’t.
6 original notices
How to read them
These pieces use the calm language of a posted notice, then apply it to a fountain wish, an early bus, an abandoned parcel, or another problem that does not need a department. Read one at a time, copy a favorite, or use the stable links to share the exact notice.
1 · Parks Department Notice
Due to high demand, wishes placed in the fountain after Friday may take six to eight business years. Additional coins will not expedite your request, though the Parks Department appreciates your confidence.
2 · Park Notice
Picnic tables are available first come, first served. A table occupied only by one water bottle and no visible humans will be considered an independent nation after twenty minutes. Diplomatic recognition does not include shade.
3 · Transit Announcement
The 8:10 bus is delayed because it arrived early and startled everyone. Service will resume once the clocks, the driver, and three witnesses agree on what happened.
4 · Sanitation Notice
All cardboard boxes must be flattened before collection. Boxes claiming they are “still useful” have until Tuesday to state a specific purpose. “Good box” is not a purpose.
5 · Apartment Notice
Residents are reminded that the package shelf is not long-term housing. Any parcel still waiting after thirty days will be issued a key, added to the lease, and asked to take out the recycling.
6 · Community Center Notice
The lobby piano is available to anyone who can play. Anyone who cannot play is limited to the opening four notes of one song. The piano knows the song. It has heard enough.